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An Anthology of Madness

a giveaway + a goodbye

The release of An Anthology of Madness marks the end of Make It MAD. I began writing here in June of 2010 and spilled my digital guts every Wednesday, documenting my search for faith, my battles with addiction, my struggles with the homeless, a few tips on being a gentleman in the 21st Century, and my abandonment of church and religion as I wandered the streets of America seeking God.

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“You’re going to Dhaka?” the Bengali man asks. We stepped up to board our flight. He stops his conversation to inquire about the six white Americans at gate 109 cramming onto a seven hour flight from Istanbul to Dhaka, Bangladesh. I tell him we are, indeed, headed to Dhaka. He puts his hands on his hips and laughs. “Good luck. You’re going to need it.”

I turn to one of the other writer’s traveling with me. “Not exactly the most comforting thing to hear.”

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AM I VISIBLE? Black marker words scribbled on a brown piece of cardboard. He sat with his legs crossed, eyes closed, gently rocking back and forth on the skateboard between him and concrete. Knees escaping, pale and dirty like prisoners ought to be, from the holes in his jeans.

AM I VISIBLE? A busy Hollywood street corner. Rush hour traffic going nowhere fast. I catch glimpses of him through passers-by. Students hurrying home. Women in high heels and pencil skirts. Fathers with daughters on their shoulders. Children helping mothers carry bags filled with pumpkin pies, cranberries, and Thanksgiving turkeys.

No one stops. No one notices.
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What I Learned About the Church While Seeking God Outside Of It (Part I)


I remember the moment I believed I’d finally become a mature, God-honoring Christian. I was in a multi-million dollar, cushioned-seat, air-conditioned sanctuary, where the pastor had just invited another member of his leadership team to the stage to give a ten minute sermon about tithing before the actual sermon began. It was right after the rock band performance (they were excellent, by the way) where the worship leader said in the middle of his power ballad cover of a David Crowder song, “Close your eyes and put your hands in the air. It’s just you and God here,” even though his face was plastered in true 1080 high definition on two 15 foot screens hanging above the platform. “God?” I asked, looking up at him. “I can see your pores.”

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“How have you been not going to church?” Clint asked, sipping a margarita on the back patio.

Matt leaned against the wall, taking quick, careless puffs on his cigar. The sunlight reflecting off his glasses, the cloud of smoking rising around him, he seemed more like an apparition than my friend. “I’ve hit a plateau. My relationship with Jesus isn’t any different, but it’s not any worse.”

“It’s been what, a year now?”

Matt nodded. “I don’t even think about church on Sunday. This is my community now. You guys right here. And I’m fine with that. Church is wherever I go. Wherever Jesus was standing, church was under his feet. I don’t see what the big deal is about being a Christian who doesn’t attend a church regularly.”

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