A Proper Wedding Toast

As you know, my brother got married this weekend. (And if you don’t know, I’m going to assume your wireless internet is on the fritz, and in that case, you have my deepest sympathies.  Seriously, that’s almost as unfortunate as owning a flip-phone.)  It was a beautiful mountaintop affair broadcast on Twitter by Yours Truly – and everyone else in attendance.  In fact, staring at your cell phone during the ceremony was encouraged, and not considered a party-foul.  (So if you had a flip-phone?  Tragic.)

In case you were wondering, there was no official Maid of Honor.  Or Best (Wo)Man.  (Though I did have myself a “Twitter Ambassador” t-shirt made.  I am nothing if not committed.)  But because I love Max and Lauren to the end of the rainbow, I wanted to give a toast at the reception.  So here I give my congratulations to the incredibly talented, soulful, brilliant, genetically blessed (really, it’s unfair how beautiful they are) couple. Please imagine me in a tragically hip sundress-scarf ensemble, surrounded by twinkle-lights, reading the following:

A greater love story has never been told;

Through Twitter and Skype did their story unfold.

Max and Lauren, the blogging sensations,

Were living on opposite sides of the nation.

She was in Ohio and he in LA;

But through wireless internet, their loved was sustained.

Then one day in March he showed up at her door,

They kissed, they laughed, and they loved even more.

They left on a trip to explore the US,

And no, despite rumors, they did not have sex.

They slept on couches, on futons and floors,

Through waterfalls, ghosts, and storms they explored.

Yes there were bumps as you’ll find on the road,

But their passion for God helped them lighten their load.

With a ring he asked her to share his life;

On a mountain they pledged to be husband and wife.

They found their way here with advice from above;